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A couple of weeks ago, I overheard someone say that if everyone moved every two years, no one anywhere would get anything done.


I moved back to Chicago about six weeks ago, & the past month & a half has been overrun with job hunting, apartment hunting, insurance battles, and encounters with brutish AT&T salespeople. It has been a violent six weeks.

A few notes:

  1. No One but No One Moves in the Winter.
    No one, that is, except me, in Chicago, which is a barren, frigid wasteland from September to May. In fact, they took the last three days out February as a concession to Chicagoans, who were desperate for a shorter winter. Leap Year only exists because of Californians constantly crowing about their nice winter weather, calling Midwesterners & saying things like,”Oh, really? It was seventy-two on Valentine’s Day. I thought I felt a slight chill last night, but when I turned I saw that it was only the gnarled fingers of Old Age shooing a twenty-six year old woman out of L.A. She had no business being there anyway.”
  2. Danger is Not Always Where You Expect.
    For all its infamy, my time in New York was generally hassle free. Two days after returning home to Chicago, a drug-related gunfight broke out in front of my parents’ house, & a boy was shot & killed in their front lawn. So, you know, I’m happy to be back home. Where it’s safe.
  3. Insurance Companies are Necessary Evils OR Life Lessons Learned Too Late
    Twentysomethings of America, hear me when I say this: you need health insurance. This may make me sound old & preachy, but I am speaking to you from the dark, desperate corner of experience: you need health insurance. You need it because you are young, & reckless, & alive. You need it because you ride bikes & scale cliffs & run fast & dance in wild, questionable ways. You need it because you believe you are invincible, & you are not. You are human, & your parts will bend & break, the same as the parts of any older human being will, but because you are younger, you are less likely to be working jobs that offer insurance of any kind. You are probably living on the margins, waiting tables in some diner or selling books in a big old shop, & that’s just fine because you aren’t really responsible for anyone other than yourself. Maybe you’re one of those kids whose parents pay their rent, even though you pretend they don’t, & your financial concerns extend about as far as the corner bar. Maybe you’re breaking your back at some internship, trying to get a foot in the door working minimum wage or less all in the hopes of some day making it big. You have your whole life ahead of you & the last thing you want to do is schill out $100 a month because maybe you’ll get sick or slip on some steps or find yourself unable to get out of one of those questionable dance positions. But when it happens – when you get doored on your bike or hurt at a party, when you find yourself sick out of your mind or in need of the sort of TLC you can’t buy on Craigslist – you need health insurance. Do not risk putting your goals & dreams on hold because of medical bills. Do not compromise your long term well-being by ignoring health issues you’re dealing with right now. Do not get screwed. America’s health care problem is just that – a problem, one which hopefully will be resolved before we are too old to capitalize on what is in so many countries a basic human right. Life can change quickly & that body of yours is the only one you get – make sure it can keep up with you for all the glory that’s to come.
  4. Paint Swatches are Not to be Trusted.
  5. Blogs Can Live Again.
    At least something’s recovering. OH HAI ECONOMY.

I killed a roach today. Twice.

That’s one roach, two deaths.

Mathematically impossible you say? Ha! This little bugger DEFIES mathematical impossibility! Defies, then lays a bajillion roachy little eggs in its face. TWICE!


Perhaps you’ll note the way the antennae are blurry – that’s because they were STILL TWITCHING when I took this.

Though I’m sure this photo will land me a spot at National Geographic, the jury’s still out on if I’ll ever sleep again.

Doctors. Singing. About hemorrhoids.





If anything ever screamed “HIT SERIES!” louder than Baby Savers, I don’t know what it was. Quick – someone call Tom Selick. He needs to get in on this.

Would you believe that these women –

– are all the same 20 year old model? Vogue Paris recently portrayed Hungarian model Eniko Mihalik in various ages, realized only via makeup & camera trickery (that is to say, no digital touch ups).

You can read more about it at Gems Sty.

(& I so very much hope that, even at 60, I’ll still be 20 underneath it all.)

I briefly made reference to the arts as they pertain to the coming election a few weeks ago, but The Arts Action Fund recently made this information available on their site, along with a wealth of related information in nearly every form of media you could wish for.

With the election less than a month away, it can’t hurt to know what you’re voting for.

You ARE voting, RIGHT?

May 2018
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